January 26, 2016

You’d think that finally having the papers signed– are these even the final papers?– would be a relief, but my final reaction was a flood of sorrow and resentment. W delays as much as he possibly can, knowing that I have given him tens of thousands of dollars and allowed him to buy a house, and my only requirement was dispatch. But dispatch would mean not doing it fully his own way. I see no end to this. Why should even good deeds turn into despair? I am amazed sometimes by my lack of emotional resources. Some things I simply cannot shrug off.