March 30, 2012

Gentle spring rain came just as I had finished planting. Today it was poppy and moonflower, but also red onion and cabbage, thinking with the eggplant to try vegetables again this year. I have surrounded them with a zone of slug poison. The lilacs are a purple cloud and a white cloud. Some which I thought I’d lost to the drought last summer– bluebells and ginger–come back full strength-- like a child from the womb, like a ghost from the tomb.

The cleaners came just as I arrived home for my nap.
“You’re usually not her.”
“You’re supposed to come in the morning.”
“Somebody quit this morning, so our schedules are all off.”
The people you read about in magazines would say, “That’s just too bad; I can’t be disturbed just now. Come back when I’m not here.” But I gathered my things and left Bethany Sykes, whose mother I worked with in the theater long ago, was one of the cleaners. She still has the glass mushroom I gave her, and when she mentioned it, I remembered it. That was pleasant. I felt I couldn’t bitch too bitterly in front of her.

Excellent poetry class afterward, as responsive as the one I’d complained about had been stony. I had been weeping in my office just before class; maybe it had not been completely wiped away. Maybe they thought it was because of them.

The stock hell did not stop, and when I got round two in email last night. . . well, it’s hard to choose between fury and despair. But I think it’s worked out. Several times in your life you say “I do not do that. I will not do that. I shall not do that,” and that’s the very thing presented to you to do. Note to God: most of life’s challenges are unnecessary.

Theater last night. The play was long and bad, but since I had to write a review I stayed with it the whole time. With resources so short, why choose mediocrity? Needless to say, the theater did not take my mind off a bad week. The UNCA theater crowd was gathered at Avenue M, and they gladdened my heart. There was even a cheer for me, for reasons it is not necessary to understand. DJ said “They adore you,” and I think I said “I adore them right back,” for that’s what I meant.

Zach tried to work out my wrenched shoulder. I think it did some good, I gardened all day without a twinge, but gardening seldom demands that you raise your arm perpendicular to your body. Putting on shirts and closing car doors, however, are agony.