September 25, 2011

Afternoon sun, home from Lake Logan. Got my affairs in order and planted peonies and narcissi. Enough time had passed to shake off the disgust of the weekend. People wonder why I hate it so, and I have nothing to say that makes sense, even to me, but the emotion is real, and should, in times to come, be finally heeded. Maybe it just focuses endemic sadness. Did have a walk up the Pigeon River until the going got too rough, and I had turned my ankles on too many football-sized stones. The day and the way were roaringly beautiful. The mountain was a bowl of light, and the purple and pink of autumn flowers blazed along the water. When I reached the end of that adventure I turned the other way and walked the trail that leads up Sunburst Mountain to a gazebo and an overlook. I met the camp director (I suppose it was) who adamantly refused to let me proceed unless I had someone with me (I didn’t, though I expected to meet someone on the trail) or waited for him to fetch me a map. My protestations that I was a fairly experienced hiker met with renewed insistence. I was at the point of simply defying him and walking up the trail, but I didn’t really want to escalate to that, so I waited while he drove somewhere and got me a map. It was not the time to put me through another pointless frustration, and only exhaustion kept me from withering him when he returned with the stupid map, after his having been delayed by a fire alarm. How I hated him. That is the end of my contributions to Lake Logan. I did in fact get lost, and his comments about how to follow the orange markings did in fact get me back on the trail, but I would have righted myself in time, and my disgust was not much abated. Met Russell and Maria and several others as I ascended, as had been my purpose. We walked down the mountain together. Everyone had orange anti-hunter vests but me. I marked that as a victory. My knees are now annihilated. Russell and Maria found a baby snapping turtle and a scarlet salamander. I found nothing. They are blessed and I am not.