January 29, 2008

Evening, had my interview with the deans–or whatever they are in this changing world--and my leave remains denied. I really thought there was a chance of talking my way back into it. I understood their point. They understood mine. They said nothing could be done. I assumed that was untrue, but you can repeat the same argument only so many times before you become sickening to your own ears. It’s a bad destructive, reductive choice, but I’m content that no amount or no quality of protest will change it. I’m sorry I argued, for instead of one day of sadness and defeat I have two. K may remember that years ago her signature was on the letter that denied me promotion, for a reason that appeared on none of the guidelines and which her committee had to make up to disadvantage me. The same thing happens now, though they cannot admit to it. My early journals are full of accounts of our friendship. I do not know what I do to create hostility. I mean always to be a gentle friend.

My sister sends the web page of the auction at our house. I cannot bear to look at it.

Today I became ordained in the Universal Life Church. It’s for Devin and Ariel’s wedding, but who knows what other mischief I can get into?