January 15, 2008

Only one class yesterday, and I feel like I’ve been through the ringer. Today, the onslaught.
Feel we made progress as Gilgamesh rehearsal last night, though Mickey and I both having our separate goes is confusing the actors. I hope they hear everything and choose what is most useful.

Linda writes that father is attached to nothing in the house and has no interest in being brought "home" to lie beside mother in death. I want to admire his lack of attachment, but I can’t, quite. What stabs my heart whenever I think of her life is the degree of betrayal and abandonment she endured–taken out of a warm, close family into a cold one, kept apart from the things she loved, abandoned by a husband who, to say the least, withdrew emotionally quite early on, without the mercy of removing himself physically. Now the betrayal is complete. I can’t stand it. The only workable policy is not to think about it and keep a closed mouth.

But I do reflect on how little family drama there has been among us, until now. Perhaps I just never paid attention. Perhaps it was part of the coldness that pervaded everything.