June 14, 2016

Vigil at O.Henry’s last night. Regretted not being able to be there because of rehearsal. Solidarity with the people of Orlando. I want to write out in some resonant sentence my solution to the problem, but I draw a blank. I feel guns are most of the answer, for a person even in deep rage without a gun does no harm except to himself. But what causes the rage? How could gay people have offended their murderer REALLY? “Since intellectual hatred is the worst, let her think all opinion is accursed.”  I found myself searching Islam for the root of hatred, until I came to my senses. Most Muslims are no more to be blamed for ISIL than I for the Crusades. Exhausting. A dead drain of the emotions. Take away the guns. At least the means would be lacking, even if the desire of murder would remain.

Doing well in JCS rehearsals. This surprises me a little, as I am not naturally attuned to the musical. Jesus and Judas both went to NKU, and were delighted when I told them that NKU had done my play Night, Sleep, and the Dreams of Lovers, though of course before their time. I was putting chairs away after rehearsal, when someone said, “Look, the old man is putting chairs away while you just sit there.” I thought she was joking, but four or five boys jumped up and finished for me. Sigh. I do feel tough and able, though, since there’s some iron back in my blood.