December 13, 2013

Sang yesterday at the Asheville Country Club. I have an unusual case of laryngitis, so the verb “to sing” was a courtesy, but there was no other bass and I could provide the line so long as it was a firm forte. Delicious buffet.

Went to Cameron’s office and signed about a million documents. When I bought this house I had no down payment, a mediocre (to bad) credit rating, and $60,000 of credit card debt, and it was far easier than this. He explains that the change is because the banks screwed up so deeply in the recent past, but I don’t see why I should be expected to compensate for that. It wasn’t the making of risky loans that brought the house down, but the selling and reselling of them so that the ones who made them would never felt the repercussion of their failure. I rebel at their wanting to see every detail of what I know to be both private and irrelevant. My secret strength is that I would be almost as happy for the deal not to go through. When I reach the limit of compliance, I will simply stop, and let the outcome be what it is. I dwell on this more than I need to, for I have delivered myself over to upheaval and disorder, who spend so much energy insuring peace and productive order. More simply put, I am not used to people making that sort of demand on me, making me prove what I say, automatically assuming I’m a fraud bent on the illicit. Happily, I can conceive of this happening no further time.

I consider that the trees I will acquire are the trees that brim with bluebirds.