October 1, 2025
The Security System man and the solar panel men came in the same hour. Footsteps and banging on the roof. I expect each bang to break through into my study. Hubbub from which I am about to flee. As they have my car hemmed in, the flight will probably be to the garden with a box of bulbs. Sweetboi’s strange end made me think I need security cameras. A man knocking at the door with an offer of free installation made me think I needed solar.
September 30, 2025
Cold. All the windows shut for the first time. Twice my finger hovered at the thermostat.
Gave an interview about Washington Place with Janet Kopenhaver of Asheville Stages. She’d been to the gym and was hyper-hydrated and had to use the bathroom a lot. Interesting half hour. It is still true that I have never listened to a podcast of which I was not the subject.
Guy delivered a pallet of materials for my solar panels, so I guess that’s on. What a week of banging and hammering this is going to be.
Waiting for a locksmith on one of those “I’ll text a half hour before I get there” arrangements which are the most infuriating things in ordinary life. I expected the call at 8 AM. It is now 3:20 PM. I’m not the kind of person that can be casual about appointments.
Vivint Security guy makes arrangements for tomorrow. I let loose about asking for a morning time, getting a vague sometime-in-the-afternoon time, repeating the AM request with every communication, being ignored every time. There was a glitch in their system, so he says. and now I have a slot at PRECISELY 9:30. Their web page won’t let me sign some document I’m meant to sign before the technician arrives. Days chopped to bits by interruptions and irrelevancies.
Some hugely dark nights replaced by irritations far more immediate and superficial. This is an advance.
Ate a single tomato for lunch. Quick and baffling diarrhea.
School of Night gets better and better. I impede progress by thinking, “So what? Irrespective of quality, it will come to nothing.” Old songs repeated so often they leave grooves in the air.
TP responds to my announcement about the Washington Place productions with: This is great. My entire day is just trying to stay alive. Doctors are considering putting a fucking bag on my side I can’t even use the toilet without help. I was in an unbelievable amount of pain when we first met. I didn’t realize how many physical problems I had then I guess even I didn’t believe I could have so much wrong in my early 20’s . I lived with it all and had to at last end up not being able to walk about 6 years ago after a trip to the park to play frisbee with Nick and Dylan. I wish I had been smart enough to do some things differently. I am really happy to hear about your play. It’s wonderful. Thank you David for being a wonderful person and friend.
I remember his angelic beauty and clear talent when we were doing our play at the green door. No, I knew none of this, or but echoes of it that I did not pursue. Alas repeated like the call of a bird.
The Locksmith arrived after a bitter text from me. He was a giant, sweet Tunisian, very apologetic, though pointing out correctly that our plans had never been definite. He fixed the knobs in five minutes, and showed me how to open the doors correctly, and undercharged me because I had been disgruntled. He thought my house was beautiful, and lamented that his wife filled theirs with “so many things.”
Dream before waking, mostly lost: I was in a very beautiful blue landscape, evening or some blue planet, trying to save somebody. Around the small sharp moon a flock of white birds wheeled in a circle I thought they were tiny birds, but that was a trick of distance. When I saw them in trees later, they were gigantic. It was a dream that continued into wakefulness, then reasserted when I deliberately went back to sleep so the beauty of it would continue.
September 28, 2025
“The People that Walked in Darkness” from Messiah rises up from the kitchen. Sat down to watch the whole expanded version of The Lord of the Rings, over three late nights, after the talk shows end. Reminds me of exam week at Hiram, when I’d re-read The Lord of the Rings instead of studying. That worked out well enough.
September 27, 2028
The Helene Anniversary. Everyone’s Facebook and You Tube feeds overflow with images of wreckage and desolation.
Morning rehearsal at First Baptist, then a performance at Pride in City-County Plaza. One tape has us sounding horrible, another has us sounding fine, so who knows? Mostly what you hear on the tape is the chatter of the crowd, so maybe it didn’t matter how we sounded. Finally a big hurricane memorial service at First Baptist. I think it went well. I made the fewest mistakes in the Lauridson Lux Aeterna that I had ever made. Tall H was planted right in front of me, so I could only guess what the conductor was doing. Fell asleep on the sofa, woke after 3 and staggered to bed.
Question: “What are you going to do to commemorate the hurricane?” Answer: “Flush my toilet.”
September 26, 2025
Dim days, half rain, half gray light. A cloud of titmice at the feeders late in the afternoon.
Emotions roiling as though I were a teenager.
Hurricane anniversary weekend. We’re singing a commemoration program at First Baptist. Here’s an enigma: we have too many rehearsals and yet, at the same time, we are under-rehearsed.
Pride tomorrow. They predict considerable rain.
September 24, 2025
Productive time a riverside working on The School of Night.
Sound of turkeys racing around on the roof. Something gets into them every now and then and they fly up there.
Odd exhaustion. Two naps in one afternoon.
