March 28, 2011

Cold drizzle. Early to the Y, so early that I have practically the whole of the morning yet left to me. Disturbing dream last night. I returned from long absence to my home. I visited a man who ran a gallery, and who was apparently my prospective employer. I’d left some gem stones with him to be appraised. He said he wasn’t interested in them, and after a while I realized it was because he thought they were stolen. Then I went to the house which I used to share with a man (I think it was John the film maker who lives on the corner). He had the whole house now, and had been storing some of my things. I was getting those things when he observed that I had stolen his treadmill. With a shock I realized that in fact I DID have his treadmill, and had packed it up and taken it along with me without a thought one way or the other. I couldn’t defend myself. Everything I wanted to say sounded idiotic: “I didn’t realize I was taking it. . . I didn’t really think of that as stealing. . . .” I offered to return it, but he said he didn’t really want it; it was the principle which upset him. Pondered the dream at the gym. I don’t actually steal anything, so maybe it’s about things I do for which, when challenged, I have no satisfying explanation. Maybe it’s about unearned reputation. Maybe it’s about nothing at all.

Dim gleam of golden crown imperial in the before-dawn rain.